Mother of two challenges stigma around missing work after parental leave

A 36-year-old Oslo psychologist and mother of two has criticised what she calls a “one-sided” debate over early childcare, arguing there is an unspoken taboo against admitting that some parents look forward to returning to work.

In a Facebook post that has drawn hundreds of responses, Helén Ingrid Andreassen wrote that Norway’s political climate makes it difficult for mothers of young children to openly express excitement about resuming their careers. “It’s almost become something to be ashamed of,” she told Dagbladet.

Andreassen, whose eldest child began daycare at 13 months and whose youngest is set to start at 11 months, stressed that she would never place her children in care if she believed it harmed them. “But it’s okay to care about your career even if you also love being a mother,” she said. “Work enriches my life—it’s an important part of who I am.”

The debate follows comments by Ingrid Olina Hovland, leader of the Christian Democratic Youth, who told VG this week she would “never” send a one-year-old to daycare, citing research on stress levels in young children. Hovland’s remarks have sparked widespread reaction, including a rebuttal from Dagbladet columnist Sigrid Hvidsten.

Andreassen argued that Norwegian daycare has been unfairly portrayed as harmful, noting that chronic stress—not daycare itself—poses risks to children. She also pushed back against the assumption that all mothers prefer to stay home as long as possible. “When did we decide that was the ideal?” she asked. “Not everyone thrives in that role, and that should be okay to say.”

Her family split their parental leave evenly, with Andreassen returning to work after six months in both cases—a choice that has also drawn criticism. “There’s this expectation that mothers should want to stay home as long as possible,” she said. “But life has more dimensions than just family. Contributing to society in other ways matters too.”