Survey finds 64 percent of children lie, but psychologist says it is normal

A new survey by Epinion for DR Ultra shows that 64 percent of Danish children aged 9-14 have lied at least once in the past month, but clinical child psychologist and professor Jesper Dammeyer says most lying is a natural part of development.

More than half of the children said they do not think it is okay to lie. Still, 41 percent found it acceptable to lie to protect themselves, 26 percent to be polite, and 46 percent to avoid hurting someone. Professor Dammeyer notes that lying in such situations is normal, for instance saying you like a gift you actually do not.

Dammeyer, a professor at the University of Copenhagen who has studied children’s social and linguistic development for about 20 years, says lying can be a sign of healthy development. It requires social and linguistic skills similar to telling a good joke. Children begin to experiment with lies around age five, but fully understand complex social lies only around age twelve.

In four pieces of advice for parents, Dammeyer emphasises that lying is normal and part of development. He advises parents to try to understand why their child is lying rather than focusing on the lie itself. In most cases, the reason is harmless, but if lies become harmful, it may indicate issues such as low self-esteem or distress. He warns against scolding or punishing, as that can damage trust and make the child less willing to seek help. Finally, he suggests parents be role models, as children up to age twelve primarily copy adult behaviour. A calm conversation can show a better way to act.

Tags: children, lying, psychology