Mother pledges to keep son’s colours shining after his suicide

Five years after her 17-year-old son Elias took his own life, Tone Therese Haugen is channelling her grief into helping others speak openly about suicide, Dagbladet reports.

“I promised Elias that his colours would keep shining,” she says, showing a tattoo on her forearm: a watercolour-style heart with birds in flight, a design that also appears on his gravestone. The inscription reads: “Your colours will always shine.”

Elias, a competitive swimmer who trained 20 hours a week, found solace in the pool. “When I swim, I don’t have to think about anything,” he once told his mother. But when the pandemic closed the pool, he lost his refuge. Restrictions later kept him from returning as others did, leaving him feeling excluded and overwhelmed by the prospect of catching up.

Haugen recalls his fear of adulthood—he was weeks away from turning 18. She clings to the few certainties she has: “Suicide is so complicated because we never get answers. You can speculate forever, but you’ll find no reasons.”

Line Toft Haaland of Mental Health Youth notes that while there’s no definitive sign a young person is struggling, adults should watch for withdrawal, persistent low mood, loss of interest in activities, changes in sleep or appetite, or expressions of hopelessness and burden.