Living with unbearable pain: ‘It’s a terribly lonely life’

Bettina Fevert, 30, suffers from debilitating chronic pain caused by endometriosis, yet she has spent years fighting to be believed by doctors, she tells Dagbladet.

For nearly a month each cycle, Fevert experiences pain so severe it feels like “a knife twisting inside” her uterus, leaving her bedridden and unable to function. The agony is sometimes so intense she faints. Even outside her menstrual period, she endures unpredictable pain attacks that can last for days, striking without warning—whether she’s at a restaurant, on a hike, or at home.

“It hurts just to breathe,” she says. “I can’t breathe through the pain because it fills my entire abdomen. So I pass out.”

Her condition has forced her to abandon career plans and postpone dreams of starting a family. Simple tasks—climbing stairs, using the toilet, or putting on socks—often require assistance from her partner or family. “Basic things most people take for granted,” she says.

A 12-year battle for a diagnosis
Fevert’s symptoms began in middle school when she first got her period. The bleeding was so heavy that pads and tampons weren’t enough, and the pain left her nauseous, vomiting, and sometimes unconscious. Doctors initially prescribed birth control pills to skip periods, but nothing worked.

It took 12 years before she received a diagnosis: endometriosis, a chronic condition where tissue similar to the uterine lining grows outside the uterus—on organs like the ovaries, fallopian tubes, or bladder. The relief of finally having an explanation was overshadowed by years of dismissal.

“People told me, ‘The pain is all in your head,’ or ‘Stop thinking it hurts,’” she recalls. Some claimed her symptoms were just “normal periods.” Others accused her of faking pain to obtain medication. “I’ve even seen it written in my medical records—usually by men.”

‘I wish I had cancer’
The invisibility of her illness has left her isolated. In an interview with Romerikes Blad, she admitted, “It’s awful to say, but sometimes I wish I had cancer and lost my hair, just so people could see I’m sick.”

“The worst part is walking around with this invisible disease and not being believed. It’s a terribly lonely life. I’m often alone, forced to fight for help myself. There’s no standard treatment path for endometriosis.”

Her turning point came at Oslo’s Ullevål Hospital pain clinic, where—after a decade of skepticism—she finally felt heard. “For the first time in 12 years, someone believed me without question,” she says. “That’s all I ever wanted: to be listened to, to have my feelings acknowledged.”

Dependent on others
Despite her resilience, Fevert relies heavily on her partner, who works full-time but returns home to care for her, and her parents, who help with daily tasks. The couple hopes to have children someday, but she doesn’t feel physically capable yet.

“What I miss most is just being able to go out and do things—being social without constantly calculating how my body will hold up,” she says. “I just want to live.”