Small-town dating leaves Lapland single searching far and wide

Mirka Kanerva, 38, wants to start a family, but dating in Äkäslompolo is complicated by a small local pool of potential partners and tourists often looking only for brief romances, Yle reports.

Kanerva has been single for 11 years. She lives in Äkäslompolo, a village in the municipality of Kolari with about 700 residents. During the busiest seasons, however, the population increases several times over as tourists and travellers arrive in the north.

Now autumn has brought the fall colours to the fells, and the seasonal bustle is visible not only on nature trails but also on dating apps.

Kanerva moved to Lapland three years ago, initially planning to spend only the winter there on leave from work. She eventually decided not to leave and found a job as a physical education teacher at a lower and upper secondary school in Kolari.

Over the years, she has become familiar with the distinctive dating culture of the Lapland tourist centres. She hopes to find an active partner with whom she could start a family. Tourists, however, often have something else in mind.

“People want a brief romance when they are out partying a little in Levi,” Kanerva says.

Long distances make dating more difficult. People sometimes talk about “lust kilometres”, meaning the journey made to pursue company. While someone in a large city can spontaneously go on a lunch date, meeting someone in northern Finland often requires more planning.

Before travelling farther, Kanerva has to consider whether she will need to stay overnight and whether it is safe. She usually tells her friends where she is going. Her farthest date so far has been in Rovaniemi, about 170 kilometres away.

There are also Swedish users on Tinder, but Kanerva has stayed within Finland. Two days after the interview, she was due to meet a Tinder match who lives more than 130 kilometres away in Sodankylä.

The man’s profile caught her attention because it included nature-related pictures of activities such as freeride skiing, climbing and camping. Kanerva assumed he was adventurous. But they had not yet decided where to meet, and the man had stopped responding to her messages.

“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Kanerva says.

Small circles can make dating awkward

Dating in a small community can sometimes feel uncomfortable, Kanerva says. Friends may go on dates with the same people, while dating apps can reveal who is familiar and who has separated from a partner.

Anne Holappa, a researcher of online dating at the University of Turku, understands Kanerva’s experience. Dating in a small community carries a particular kind of social pressure, she says.

“Word spreads easily because my mother knows your mother. You are held accountable for your actions in a different way than in an environment where people do not know one another,” Holappa says.

According to Holappa, algorithm-based dating apps were designed for densely populated urban environments. In small communities, an app may gradually widen its criteria for distance and age, and show the same people again.

The available profiles may also run out, leaving the app to notify users that there are no new users in the area.

“One good one is enough,” Holappa says.

Holappa notes that a larger selection does not automatically make dating easier. Big cities have more potential partners, but competition is also tougher. That can create pressure over whether a person is attractive enough to be noticed.

“Down here in the south, people ask what you bring to the table,” Holappa says. “It sounds like trading. People think about what they can gain instead of being interested in the other person as a human being.”