New grief symbol helps mourners seek consideration

A small white angel wing bearing the words “I have lost someone” is being launched in Denmark to make grief more visible and help mourners receive greater consideration in everyday life, DR reports.

The symbol can be worn on clothing by people who have lost someone close, signalling that they may need extra understanding. The idea grew out of experiences at the Palliative Care Team at Zealand University Hospital and support groups for parents who have lost a child.

Initiators say grief can be difficult to put into words, while people who are mourning may struggle to find one another. The wing is therefore designed as a simple symbol that people can choose to wear openly.

“There is a kind of awkwardness when we have to talk about death. Perhaps this can lead to a considerate nod or a pat on the shoulder,” Malene Beck, a professor of paediatric nursing and research director at Zealand University Hospital, told P1 Morgen.

She stressed that the symbol is intended for anyone who has lost someone they care about, regardless of age or relationship.

Criticism of the wording

The effort to make grief visible has also drawn criticism. Hospital chaplain Lotte Mørk supports the idea of a mourning symbol but is sceptical of the words “I have lost someone”. She told Kristeligt Dagblad that the wording could undermine the symbol’s purpose by making mourners feel as if they are imposing their grief on others.

Mørk also questioned why people need to display their vulnerability in the first place. “Imagine that we have to ask permission to be down,” she said.

Other critics fear that the wing could make people keep their distance from mourners rather than making it easier to approach them and show care.

But palliative care nurse Kari Friis Larsen, who is also one of the initiators, said the purpose is to help other people understand when someone is not behaving as usual.

She said grief can be particularly difficult when people return to work after losing a relative, as they are often expected to resume their normal role quickly. Wearing the wing can show colleagues that the person is vulnerable and may need extra consideration, she told P1 Morgen.

More than 1,000 wings will be distributed free of charge at hospices, hospitals and palliative care services across Denmark as part of the launch. The wing can also be bought for 25 kroner from Badge Design, with part of the proceeds going to SorgDanmark for research and development in the field of grief.