Danish mother forced to give up son for adoption—then no one wanted him

A Danish mother was ordered to surrender her infant son for forced adoption, only to have the process reversed when authorities failed to find adoptive parents, national broadcaster DR reports.

Maja Mathilde Ilkær Kjærtinge described the final goodbye to her then 11-month-old son, referred to as Emil, as “fucking hard,” with both parents and caregivers in tears. “You experience a love you’ve never felt before,” she said. “Then you just have to say goodbye. You won’t see him again. You don’t know where he’ll end up.”

Seven months later, Kjærtinge received a letter from the National Board of Appeal (Ankestyrelsen) stating that no adoptive family could be found for Emil. The board closed the case and restored her parental rights, allowing supervised visits while he remains in foster care.

The failed adoption follows a 2020 government push to increase forced adoptions of vulnerable children, with Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen (S) advocating for “a real fresh start with security, love, and stability.” Since then, the number of forced adoptions has more than doubled. However, Denmark’s Adoption Board has repeatedly warned of a shortage of prospective parents, with Social and Housing Minister Sophie Hæstorp Andersen (S) acknowledging last November that too few families are willing to adopt Danish children.

Emil is among five children since 2020 whose forced adoptions collapsed due to lack of adoptive parents. Social worker Sandra Abild called the case “tragic,” noting Emil has already been moved four times—between parents, foster families, and a failed two-day adoption attempt—before turning two. “The boy becomes insecure, his roots torn up again and again,” she said.

Authorities initially determined Kjærtinge and Emil’s father were unfit to parent due to “extensive and permanent difficulties.” After his birth, they received six hours of daily support and briefly lived in a mother-child facility, but the board ruled they could not meet his needs. A prospective adoptive family backed out after two days, leaving Emil in foster care.

Kjærtinge now sees him monthly, describing their reunion as emotional. “My first thought was: would he even recognise me? Would he come near me?” She keeps a diary and letters for him, including a message on his first birthday. “There was so much I missed as his mother.”

The Adoption Board declined to comment on specific cases but confirmed ongoing concerns about the declining number of approved applicants. In a written statement, the board emphasised that stability in caregivers is critical for children’s development.