After losing her siblings, Irma Heikkinen realised she was alone

Irma Heikkinen, 85, has lost her husband and all her siblings, and says she felt completely alone when her last two brothers died. Yle reports that she has since adapted to living alone.

Heikkinen lives in an apartment in Riihimäki. Her husband, Matti, died in April. She is now the last person in her large family who can recall its shared stories.

One in 10 people over 75 experience loneliness often or continuously, according to statistics from the Finnish Institute for Health and Welfare. Experts say loneliness among older people is often viewed too narrowly: it is something society wants to reduce, but it can also be an unavoidable part of life.

Laura Rautiainen, who studies loneliness among older people at the University of Helsinki and works for the Central Union for the Welfare of the Aged, says loneliness is not always visible. A person’s daily life may look ordinary, even when they feel it lacks meaningful activities. Rautiainen interviewed 18 older people living in supported housing.

Loneliness often accompanies a growing need for care. It is particularly common among people receiving home care or living in supported housing, and changes such as the death of a loved one can also contribute to it.

Elisa Tiilikainen, a social work professor at the University of Eastern Finland, says social needs can change with age. Older people may be less concerned with how others see them and may seek closeness within a smaller circle rather than a large social network.

Heikkinen was born into a large family in Karelia, with five siblings and two half-brothers. She does not remember her earliest years, but her siblings told her family stories. She recalls that the family missed the evacuation ships and hid in the forest while her mother was pregnant. Her mother eventually came out of hiding, saying that if they were going to kill a pregnant woman, they could do so. The Finnish soldiers were friendly, Heikkinen says.

Two of her siblings died when she was middle-aged, but her own family, work and building projects with Matti filled her life. Her two brothers died in old age, two years apart. “Then my whole childhood family was gone. At that point I thought I was completely alone,” she says.

Heikkinen met Matti at a dance after moving to Helsinki to live with her eldest sister. They were together for decades, had children and later grandchildren, and built several houses and carried out renovations together. “When something had to be done, the other was always there to support you,” she says.

Tags: Finland, ageing, loneliness