Three advisers share tips for 30,000 boarding school starters

About 30,000 young people will start at a Danish boarding school tomorrow, and many may be struggling with nerves, homesickness or doubts about leaving home. DR has gathered advice from a former student, a school principal and an education consultant on how to get through the first weeks.

“Will I make friends? Will I get homesick? What if I regret going?” These concerns are common among young people preparing to start, according to Børns Vilkår, the organisation that runs the Children’s Phone helpline.

Advice from a former student

Johanna Lilibet Verup attended 10th grade at Copenhagen Sports Boarding School last year.

Be open and curious. Take an active interest in meeting new people. Join social activities, take part and smile to show that you want to make new friends. Be yourself, even if it feels outside your comfort zone.

Persevere when things are difficult. If nervousness or homesickness sets in, give it time and stay at the school. The first weeks can be hard, but many students find that their experience develops into a fantastic year.

Seek support. Leave your room, sign up for activities and build social groups. If you are finding things very difficult, speak to your contact teacher. Stay in touch with your family, but not so much that it makes it harder to settle in.

Advice from a school principal

Bitten Schjødt Kjær is principal of Dronninglund Boarding School.

Practise small conversations. The first days can feel awkward because everything is new. It can help to prepare a few conversation starters, such as asking what someone likes to do in their spare time, what their family is like or whether they have been thinking about attending a boarding school for a long time.

Remember that everyone is nervous. It is normal to feel tense when a new period of life begins. Schools plan activities to help students connect from the start, such as visiting one another’s rooms, taking trips to a beach or visiting the local area.

You are good enough as you are. Boarding schools have room for differences, and not everyone immediately throws themselves into new experiences. Confidence can develop over time. Some people find their courage quickly, while others need longer, and students do not all have to function in the same way within the wider community.

Advice from Børns Vilkår

Lone Smidt is an education consultant at Børns Vilkår.

Take one day at a time. The first weeks can be both wonderful and difficult. It is entirely normal to feel uncertain at first, and most people need time to settle in.

Talk about your nervousness. Share your concerns with parents or other adults you trust. Saying them out loud can make them feel smaller. Boarding school teachers are also experienced and ready to help if needed.

Be open and use the community. Meet others with curiosity, join activities and reach out if something is difficult. If you have the energy, help those who are struggling more. This helps create a community that may support you in return later.

Advice for parents

Parents are also facing a new experience. If a teenager calls unhappily after a few days at boarding school, Lone Smidt advises parents to listen and let the child talk.

Parents should acknowledge that homesickness is difficult and that starting at boarding school can feel overwhelming. For many young people, this may be enough to help them regain strength. Parents should encourage their child to take one day at a time and contact the school if they themselves become concerned.

Bitten Schjødt Kjær advises parents to listen, but not indefinitely. They should let their child know they are glad the child has shared how they are feeling, then ask about the child’s next activity. Parents should avoid taking over their child’s emotions and remember that finding the beginning difficult will not harm the child. They should also direct the child to the adults at the school, who are ready to help.