Psychologist warns parents to avoid one key mistake when children start school
A child’s first day of school is a major life transition, but parents risk making it harder by building up unrealistic expectations, a Danish psychologist has warned, DR reports.
Starting school is “an exciting milestone for the child and a significant step for both child and parents,” said Inge Schoug Larsen, a psychologist with over 15 years of experience in school transitions. However, she cautions that excessive emphasis on the event can create unnecessary pressure.
“When you’re that young, it’s hard to carry the weight of something being this big and fantastic,” Larsen explained. “Children may feel they need to be someone else or do something beyond what they’ve done before—and that’s difficult to live up to.”
Instead, she advises finding a balance: discuss school openly, show curiosity about the child’s thoughts, but avoid overwhelming them with questions or exaggerating its importance. “This can make children anxious, as if starting school is harder than it really is.”
Larsen offers three practical tips to ease the transition:
Visit the school grounds in advance
Familiarity reduces stress. “Take a walk to the school, play on the playground—this helps children feel secure. If everything is new at once, they waste energy adjusting. Knowing the space lets them focus on other new challenges.”
Introduce small responsibilities at home
Simple tasks, like setting the table or tidying up, teach children to follow routines even when they don’t feel like it. “This is practice in shifting focus from what they want to do to what’s needed for the group—a skill less emphasized in preschool, where self-direction is often prioritized.”
Read books together
Shared reading builds concentration and listening skills. “It trains children to sit still, focus, and engage deeply—abilities expected in school. Similar activities, like drawing together, develop the same kind of attention.”
For further guidance, DR’s Alle ord tæller (Every Word Counts) initiative offers resources for parents and educators at [dr.dk/skolestart](https://dr.dk/skolestart), including articles and the fiction series Klar, parat, skolestart (Ready, Set, School Start).