’Hotel Romantik’ contestant praised for openly discussing incontinence

A participant in the Danish dating show Hotel Romantik has been widely commended for addressing the often-taboo subject of incontinence during prime-time television, DR reports.

Tom Ammitzholt, 73, from Helsingør, openly shared his experience with incontinence and impotence—a result of nerve damage following prostate cancer surgery—during the show’s latest season, which premiered on Monday. In the first episode, he unpacked incontinence pads in front of his potential love interest, Joan Nørgaard, explaining that transparency was essential if their connection deepened.

Louise Gammelholm, secretary-general of the national patient organisation Kontinensforeningen (Continence Association), called Ammitzholt’s candour “fantastic and truly uplifting.” She emphasised that incontinence—a condition affecting up to 500,000 Danes, according to the Danish Health Authority—often forces sufferers into isolation, avoiding social events, travel, or dating due to shame.

“Many hide their condition, skipping parties, holidays, or relationships because of it,” Gammelholm said. “It’s devastating for quality of life. We need more people like Tom to break the silence.”

Incontinence can stem from childbirth injuries, late-effects of illness, or medication side effects, she noted, yet societal stigma persists. “Living with something so taboo that you can’t discuss it with neighbours, friends, or even partners is incredibly tough,” Gammelholm added. She hopes Ammitzholt’s openness will normalise conversations about incontinence “as easily as talking about a broken arm.”

Julia Kadin Funge, a health advisor at Sex & Samfund (Sex & Society), also praised Ammitzholt’s approach, calling it “mega-cool and necessary.” She stressed that older adults’ sexuality remains taboo, compounding the stigma around incontinence. “Taboos only create harm. Sexuality is dynamic—it evolves with age, illness, or life changes. Open dialogue, whether public or with a partner, reduces anxiety and fosters intimacy,” Funge said.

Ammitzholt, a widower and former director now studying literature in retirement, is among 20 seniors seeking love in the show’s second season, hosted by Sofie Linde and Joakim Ingversen. Gammelholm predicted he would receive an outpouring of support from others facing similar challenges: “He’ll be surprised by how many are in the same boat.”