Dating apps should be treated like gambling, researcher warns
Friday 3rd April 2026 on 18:45 in
Finland
Dating apps can be exhausting, but when used mindfully, they may also boost happiness and self-confidence, says Iiris Lehtola, a doctoral researcher at Tampere University. Her ongoing study examines how dating apps affect well-being, challenging the notion that digital dating alone is to blame for modern relationship struggles.
The culture of dating has long been criticized for fostering cynicism and emotional fatigue, with many users reporting frustration over superficial interactions and unspoken rules. Lehtola, a social psychologist and sexologist, notes that while apps like Tinder are often scapegoated, the roots of commitment aversion and emotional detachment in relationships stretch back decades—long before smartphones.
“Even in the 1990s, sociologists observed growing indifference in relationships, linked to societal changes like women’s evolving roles and broader liberalization,” she explains. “We’ve lived in this kind of dating culture for over 30 years.”
Her preliminary findings suggest that moderate, intentional use of dating apps can have positive effects, such as increased confidence. The key, she argues, lies in how people engage with them. “Whether it’s dating apps, eating, or gambling, excess is always harmful,” Lehtola says.
She compares the addictive mechanics of dating apps—where “matches” are treated like points in a game—to gambling, warning that users often depersonalize potential partners. This can lead to poor behavior, justified by assumptions like “everyone else does it.”
Lehtola advocates for clearer social norms in digital dating, such as simple courtesies: “If you match with someone, say hello. If you’re not interested, don’t just disappear.” She stresses that while technology shapes interactions, individuals retain agency. “People can choose to behave better—just as they wouldn’t litter or smoke at a bus stop simply because others do.”
Her research underscores that dating struggles aren’t new, but the scale and speed of digital platforms amplify them. The solution, she suggests, isn’t abandoning apps entirely but using them more thoughtfully.