Man says he subjected his family to years of psychological abuse

A 42-year-old man who uses the name “Jesper” says he subjected his family to years of psychological abuse, SVT reports. His anger and need to win arguments left his family constantly worried about his next outburst, he said in the documentary series Du måste gå.

“It was impossible to calm me down. I wouldn’t back down even a millimetre,” Jesper said. He eventually sought treatment after his family gave him an ultimatum: get help or face divorce.

Jesper said he had long associated domestic violence only with physical assaults. “I didn’t see myself as someone who used violence. I wasn’t hitting anyone,” he said.

Around 500 people seek help each year from Manscentrum, an independent treatment service in Stockholm for people who use, or are at risk of using, violence against someone close to them. Many struggle to manage strong emotions, according to Calle Brunell, a psychologist at the service.

Those emotions can include anger, shame, jealousy or fear of being abandoned, Brunell said. Instead of taking responsibility for them, a person may blame their partner or children.

Psychologist Anna Bennich said psychological abuse can also involve distorting reality, questioning another person’s memory and shifting blame onto them. This is sometimes called gaslighting, she said, and can make the person targeted doubt their own experiences.

Manscentrum’s anti-violence treatment has three stages. The first aims to stop the violence quickly and gives participants tools to manage anger. The second focuses on respectful communication and recognising emotions. The final stage examines the underlying causes of violent behaviour.

Psychological violence became a criminal offence in Sweden on July 1, 2026. By September 30, police had received 520 reports concerning psychological violence, according to SVT’s review. Most were still under investigation, while 210 had been dropped.

SVT reviewed judgments from all district courts and found two convictions involving psychological violence. Both defendants were also convicted of other crimes. In two further judgments, defendants were acquitted of the psychological violence charge. Only suspected offences committed after July 1 can be investigated under the new offence.

People experiencing violence can contact police on 114 14, or call 112 in an emergency. The Swedish National Women’s Helpline can be reached on 116 016, and the support line for men on 020-80 80 80. People who want help changing controlling or violent behaviour can call Välj att sluta on 020-555 666.