New book examines how people find hope after grief

People need to be able to borrow hope, priest Vigfús Bjarni Albertsson says in his new book, Borrowed hope, published by mbl.is’s publisher. The book features interviews with grieving people and those who support them.

“It is important for everyone to be able to borrow hope. However, it must be said that suffering can often challenge one person in a different way than another, and sometimes people need no other support than closeness, respect and understanding,” Vigfús says.

Many people celebrated with him last Tuesday when Borrowed hope was formally released. It is his third book in as many years to focus on grief in its various forms. His earlier books were well received and were seen as answering questions and offering support.

Vigfús has worked in the church for many years, mainly in pastoral care across a broad range of areas. He was a hospital priest at Landspítali, and now works with others in the national church’s family service, based at Háteigskirkja church in Reykjavík. The work covers many areas and the need for it is considerable, he says.

Women more likely to seek help

Several years ago, Vigfús became seriously ill and was away from work for some time. The experience gave him an opportunity to look inward and reflect on his own life.

“I began working on this book while I was in rehabilitation. For me, writing was in fact a form of processing what I had gone through, which was serious heart disease,” Vigfús says of his first book, The road away from home is the road home.

His second book, Wounds heal wounds, was published last year. It consists of reflections on how people can work through suffering and respect it.

Vigfús says he is deeply grateful for the support shown by people who seek help after trauma and grief. There is a considerable gender imbalance among those seeking support, he says, with women much more willing than men to seek help when dealing with difficult life experiences.

The positive reception of his earlier books encouraged him to continue writing.

Finding hope

Borrowed hope is similar in subject to Vigfús’s earlier books, but instead of essays and chapters, it contains interviews with grieving people about how they have worked through their experiences. The book also includes interviews with people who have worked with grieving people and provided support.

Among them is priest Sigfinn Þorleifsson, who worked for decades as a priest at Landspítali and provided pastoral care there.

Others interviewed are Ína Lóa Sigurðardóttir, Björn Hjálmarsson, Rósa Kristjánsdóttir, Aðalbjörg Stefanía Helgadóttir, Ástvaldur Traustason, Katla Njálsdóttir, Ágústa Amalía Sigurbjörnsdóttir, Kári Hreinsson, Kristín Sif Björgvinsdóttir, Sigurbjörn Þorkelsson, Vilborg G. Guðnadóttir, Jóna Hrönn Bolladóttir, Sigurður M. Jónsson and Guðrún Karls Helgudóttir.

Guðrún Karls Helgudóttir interviewed Vigfús for the book, and that interview forms its final chapter.

“The interviews are different. The circumstances the interviewees experienced and what caused their grief are secondary. They include, for example, the loss of a child, illness, accidents, the suicide of loved ones and difficult divorce cases. The focus of my interviews is how people worked through their experiences and found hope.”