Couple navigates emotional journey of childlessness in Askolan, Finland

In a picturesque rural setting in Askolan, a couple finds themselves navigating the emotional landscape of childlessness. Tuula Liukka-Nurmi, aged 56, and Marko Nurmi, 52, had long hoped to become parents, but after numerous infertility treatments, miscarriages, and the pain of unmet dreams, they have come to a point of acceptance.

The couple’s idyllic home, with dogs frolicking in the yard and vibrant flowers blooming in the garden, resembles a classic grandparent’s house—except for the absence of grandchildren. While many of their friends and family enjoy the joys of grandparenthood, Tuula describes the feeling of being an outsider, especially during village gatherings where children often take center stage.

“Every family event revolves around the grandchildren. I feel like I’m missing out,” Tuula shared. The couple is frequently reminded of their loss through social media celebrations of grandparents, which they find too painful to view.

Marko reflects on the conflicting emotions they experience, noting that while they don’t begrudge others their joy, their personal journey is still one of unending pain. They both have also faced social isolation, receiving fewer invitations to gatherings where children are present.

Their pets, particularly their dogs Ronja and Ninja, have become their surrogate children, providing companionship and activities like walks and play. Despite the love they share with their pets, they acknowledge that these animals cannot replace the children they never had.

Every year, the couple honors Childless Day, which takes place the Saturday before Mother’s Day, by raising a flag in remembrance of their experience.