Nestori Frilander fled his violent father throughout childhood

Nestori Frilander spent much of his childhood moving to escape his violent father and living under an address confidentiality restriction, Yle reports. About 2,400 minors in Finland currently have such a restriction, according to figures obtained by the broadcaster.

Frilander was three when the restriction was granted. His parents had separated when he was six months old, and he and his mother moved several times around Helsinki to avoid his father.

Frilander says he remembers little from his earliest years, but describes his childhood as filled with fear. He was told that his father had been violent towards both him and his mother and had used drugs and alcohol.

When Frilander was six, authorities proposed changing his and his mother’s first and last names, an unusual measure. He says the change was confusing: he suddenly had to call himself by a different name.

The most serious threat came shortly after Frilander turned seven, when his father threatened to kill him and his mother. They moved from Helsinki to Jyväskylä to get away from him.

“I was told that Dad was dangerous,” Frilander says. When he started school in Jyväskylä, he was told not to reveal where he lived or much else about himself. He says he feared his father might find them.

Frilander says the new life in Jyväskylä was difficult. He was bullied at school, and authorities again contacted his mother after his father threatened to kill them. Frilander felt unsafe and unsupported, and says this led him to act aggressively towards other children. He and his mother also argued frequently, and he says she became severely exhausted.

An address confidentiality restriction can be granted by Finland’s Digital and Population Data Services Agency when a person’s health or safety is under threat, for example because of domestic violence or work. The restriction conceals address details in the population information system and Traficom’s vehicle register. Authorities can access the information only in exceptional cases.

Applicants citing domestic violence must provide evidence of a safety threat, such as a police report, criminal conviction or restraining order, says Saija Lyytinen, a registrar at the agency. Applications based on work-related threats may require a statement from the employer. A threat connected to a parent’s occupation can also affect their child, Lyytinen says.

More than 10,000 people in Finland have an address confidentiality restriction. By early November this year, about 1,800 had been granted, including 304 for minors. The figures also include extensions of restrictions granted earlier.

Frilander, now 22, performs his own music. In August 2026, he sang his song Elokuu at an event in Keuruu.