Control and isolation can signal intimate-partner abuse, shelter head says

Control, isolation from family and friends, and monitoring communications can be early signs of intimate-partner abuse, mbl.is reports. Linda Dröfn Gunnarsdóttir, director of Kvennaathvarfið, a women’s shelter, discussed the issue on the Dagmál programme.

She said abusers may criticise a victim’s family and friends, causing those relationships to weaken. Control can also involve monitoring social media, demanding to know the victim’s whereabouts at all times and restricting access to personal finances.

At the same time, the victim may be blamed for the situation. Over time, this can undermine the person’s self-esteem to the point where they feel unable to live without the abuser. Gunnarsdóttir said even very strong individuals can become trapped in such relationships.

She said relationships can begin with overwhelming affection, known as “love bombing”, in which the victim is placed on a pedestal. When control and jealousy take over, the victim may try to regain the relationship’s early period.

Periods of calm can return after serious abuse, maintaining hope that the situation will change. Gunnarsdóttir said, however, that the abuse often escalates.

“It very rarely just stays the same. Most often, it gets worse and worse over the years,” she said.

The full programme is available below.