Finnish mother shares home shame struggle in viral video

A 37-year-old Helsinki mother of two, Inka Ikonen, posted an Instagram video in March showing the cluttered state of her family home, aiming to normalise household mess, Yle reports.

Ikonen said she often feels home shame and deep-cleans before guests arrive, adding she cannot handle spontaneous visitors. She recalled panicking when a neighbour unexpectedly entered her hallway.

The video drew both support and criticism. While many parents thanked her for addressing a common issue, some called her home a “dump” and questioned her parenting, with one threatening to report her to child services.

A 2020 survey by Sato found nearly half of Finns experience home shame. Professional organiser Ilana Aalto attributes the rise to increased possessions, noting an average home contains tens of thousands of items. She said the pressure for magazine-worthy tidiness weighs heavily, especially on mothers in families with children.

Moving company team leader Kim Österholm encounters home shame in nearly half of his relocations. He noted families with children accumulate the most clutter, often storing unused items for years. Österholm stressed that clutter is normal and items often hold sentimental value.

Aalto advised self-compassion and humour as ways to cope, while Österholm encouraged people to recognise that home shame can disrupt daily life.